Whatever the Divine Master says is a lamp and whosoever carries it will
Never ever have to wander aimlessly. The ensuing pages of this magazine,
Brings you real life experience of people who have lived through the
Knowledge and enjoyed the grace of the Master.
Recently, in U.S.A. Gurudev said “Problems are an illusion, they are a
Shadow. And when can you see the shadow? when your face is turned
Away from the light. If you turn your face towards the light, you will not
see the shadow.”
He also talked about how the old scripture talk about “Sankalp Shakti”
How there is power in an intention. A spiritual person, a yogi has one
Intention for many days and a confused person has many intentions in one day. For an intention to fructify there has to be that focus, that attention, instead what we have is tension and not attention.
It is said that the difference between a Guru and an Acharya, is that an Acharya is a teacher, a guide for the whole world; whereas a Guru is a teacher or a guide for you alone.
Smt. Gitanjali’s Experience
I was a journalist when I did the Part 1 course with Nitin Bhaiya in 2003. At the time I saw myself from a victim consciousness perspective with lots of rage and negative emotions associated with my marriage and in laws. Thought my MIL and SIL were creatures from hell sent on earth to torture me and saw many screws missing from my husband’s head and heart. My six-year-old son suffered as he saw his mom and dad fighting every day almost. My life was a constant roller coaster battle to save my identity and I did not know when I would have been able to get out and stay out of that marriage.
I was skeptical about swamis and men with beard. But Gurudev pic in the newspaper in an ad caught my attention. I dragged my husband for us to do the course (he said I needed it, he did not). Our saving grace was our son. Neither of us wanted him to suffer, thought our actions were creating an environment of instability for him.
I took the course with an open mind (for a skeptic, that is a leap of faith). During the first Sudarshan Kriya, I felt a numbness taking over my entire body as well as heavy tingling sensations all over my body. Even If I wanted to open my eyes I could not. It was as though there was some magnetic field holding me down. I felt ugle, and twisted and after what seems like a good while of this, I felt literally as though a distorted mask was being wrenched off my face. I felt that pulling sensation as though a tightly gloved rubber mask was being ripped off my face (two competing push and pull effect). My hands felt similarly, as though a pair of tight rubber gloves were being ripped off.
Afterwards, I do not know what happened. I lost consciousness for a while. Until I heard Nitin bhaiya’s voice. I woke up, feeling refreshed, as though my soul went thru a purification process and I did not want to speak to a single soul. I just wanted to savor that feeling of calm and peace to myself.
My second experience was not as great/elaborate but similar. I was really taken in and wanted to stay with it. Career wise, things were going well, I was promoted to Business Editor after the course (the luck aspect of AOL) but with a schedule of a journalist, I was unable to keep up with my practices. I went and did DSN with Nitin Bhaiya. The calling was there but the discipline was missing.
My life continued, with bouts of conflict. And I let go of all the practices in the quagmire of life. By the end of that year, my life again became a living hell. In December I decided to go to Satsang and I got hooked on Gurudev’s Patanjali series and would go every week without fail. I began to notice the shift within me. The desire to stop blaming others for my circumstances but to take responsibility for the state of my being and to start viewing my husband’s responses differently. It was difficult but I kept at it.
That is when the shift within me really started happening - almost seven months after my first basic course. There were some problems with the centre and I did not go back to satsang for a few weeks but when Tanujaji came to do a basic and advance course I again signed up. It was a new experience all over.
My desire to be different, to change my responses was great. I wrote everyone in my family and my husband’s family apologizing if I ever hurt them, offering olive branches for relationships I did not take responsibility for.
Gurudev kept smiling. I got a scholarship to study for my masters and I went to Canada to do advance course with him and then off to UK to study. However, my two sons (an additional one by this time) were not allowed to accompany me as I did not have accommodation as yet but Gurudev created the situation for my children to be granted visas to accompany me. They saw him at Warwick University.
The little one kept chanting thru the meditation guji guji. I managed to work 72 hrs some week to take care of my children, save money for my trip to Bangalore Ashram, and to put in time for my masters. I was the only one who did this and missed graduating with a distinction by three marks. I got a merit, thanks to Gurudev.
My life today is absolutely blessed. My husband and I still have differences but we work them out (instead of slugging them out). My children know Gurudev; they take blessing from his pic each day.
My relationship with my in-laws has all changed, save and except for my MIL (who still views me as she did 12 years ago) and refuses to see any good in me. I still feel hurt by her words and actions but I keep away saving my mind and keep thinking of Gurudev teachings when the resentment in me rises.
I am still undisciplined when it comes to my practices, but I know I am getting better at it each day and my will power increases. Now, I do not allow two days to pass if I miss my Kriya, the fear of losing that connection with Him takes over and come what may I sit and do it. I know there is none but HIM and I love none but HIM. He is with me, each step of the way. His journey into my heart began with skepticism, love, yearning, and doubts and now I am HOME.
Gitanjali
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